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Home Is Where the Homicide Is

Eventually, you’re going to start thinking about designing and building your own house. As an alternative, consider anal surgery while listening to Avril Lavigne.  It’s less fuss and will cause you about the same amount of grief for your efforts.

Some people choose to build their own houses, and to them, I wish all the luck in the world. However, having experienced it firsthand (and without having a choice thanks to the stranglehold of our insurance), I can honestly say that there is nothing more belittling, frustrating, imposing, and maddening than house-building.  I’m pretty sure we don’t deal with middlemen; we’re yapping at the 3/5th men. Or maybe even the 5/7th men. Whoever you talk with, they’re not responsible.

And really, would you want to be responsible for:

  • Wiring lighting behind the cabinets
  • Confusing one room’s floor with another and putting the wrong flooring down in both places (“We’re not sure why it wasn’t cut right… Ohhhhh we switched them!”)
  • Correcting the flooring issue only to DO THE SAME THING WITH THE CARPETING
  • Breaking the new garage door a day after it was installed
  • Forgetting to build an entire 1,000 foot wing of the house (“…oh…”)
  • Being three months late on locking down the house only to have it vandalized and your fans stolen
  • Having to repaint the living room because you scraped it up leaning wood over the “Wet Paint” sign
  • Installing a $890 faucet in the Master Bath when we were slated for a $120 one (we kept that sonuvabitch, oh yes).
  • Being two months behind schedule with no end in sight (one is claimed, but none of us believe it)

Among other matters.

A mistake or five is expected. It’s a lot of people working together; drama is bound to happen. But this? Every day it’s a new episode in “how high can our blood pressure go”.  Granted, we’re already fairly stressed to begin with, living in a rental house and wanting nothing more than to get back to our lives. This rebuilding project has us trapped in amber emotionally and we can’t. move. on.

So if you are considering building your own home, just know: you will hate the world and want to die, and at the end of it, you might get an awesome house of it.  I’ll let you know if that happens. Meanwhile, it’s 9:44am and I already want vodka.

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2 thoughts on “Home Is Where the Homicide Is

  1. Oh my Jesus God. I am going to guess that the only good thing in this situation is the insurance company presumably paying for this.

    My dad is a contractor; he’s built and remodeled houses and other buildings my entire life, and I can only imagine what his reaction to the sheer incompetency of these people would be.

    Maybe when the house is finished you could write a review on something like Angie’s List?

    In any case, I have my fingers crossed that they finish the house soon – AND without anymore mistakes.

    • Yeah, the insurance is paying for it. FINALLY. We’ve been building for seven months but it’s been mostly out of pocket with a vague promise to “pay you soon”. WE FINALLY got one of the most-important checks in the mail last week. I honestly can’t imagine how horrific this would be if we didn’t have insurance, so at least we’re extremely fortunate in that aspect.

      Thank you so much for your well-wishes, bb. ❤

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