Someone asked me what I was going to do when I finally move out of my parents’ house and into my own apartment. Now that that day is approaching, I’m formulating my plans. All the following will happen on the first Friday I am there:
- Have Cheetos and wine for dinner.
- Have cowboy shots of tequila for dessert.
- Try to do Wii yoga.
- Acquire mysterious and unexplainable bruises from the drunken Wii yoga.
- Put on “Drive” and talk to Ryan Gosling’s ass the entire movie.
- Start to build Lego Hogwarts. And then stop after one turret. And leave the Legos out without picking up after myself.
- Decide to learn Japanese. Look up filthy Japanese phrases and text them to random numbers in my cell.
- Shower until I use up all the hot water because HAHAHAHA I OWE YOU PEOPLE NOTHING.
- Wander around naked a while.
- Talk to my cats in stupid voices.
- Attempt to change my name on Facebook to “Whitney McCatlady”.
- Get lost on Facebook for 30 minutes.
- Pass out.
- Wake up at 2am wondering why the hell Drive is on.
I think it’s good to have ambitions.